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IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying

WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CHICKENS?!?! One got choked last night thanks to you!

Why do you never play hide &amp

Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth

I like my women like I like my wine 6 years old and stolen from the supermarket

So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It’s safe to say

Stallone took home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Should sit nicely next to his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film

Mohammed Ali &amp

I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist

Accountant jokes

October 19, 2026Joko

What do you call it when your lizard doesn’t know how to use the internet? e-reptile dysfunction

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What do you call it when your lizard doesn’t know how to use the internet? e-reptile dysfunction

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Accountant jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldnt prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss.After a few months of this the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On a n impulse the auditor went up to him and said, “Look, Ive left the company, Im not interested in taking it any further and I wont shop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?”And the bloke said “Tarpaulins.”

Accountant jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job advertised in the Sydney Morning Herald. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch.”I need someone with an accounting degree,” says the man, “but mainly Im looking for someone to do my worrying for me.””How do you mean?” says the accountant.”I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters.””OK,” says the accountant. “How much are you offering?””You can start on seventy-five thousand,” says the owner.”Seventy-five thousand dollars. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?””That,” says the man, “is your first worry.”

Accountant jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for.”Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.””Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometres, say a Mercedes convertible.”The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. “Wow. Are you kidding?””Yeah. But you started it.”

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