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IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying
WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CHICKENS?!?! One got choked last night thanks to you!
Why do you never play hide &amp
Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth
I like my women like I like my wine 6 years old and stolen from the supermarket
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Stallone took home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Should sit nicely next to his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film
Mohammed Ali &amp
I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist

*texting with girls* Her: I <3 you Me:[throws phone in disgust but picks it up and texts back angrily] you're less than 3

Police jokes
Joko

*texting with girls* Her: I <3 you Me:[throws phone in disgust but picks it up and texts back angrily] you're less than 3

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*texting with girls* Her: I <3 you Me:[throws phone in disgust but picks it up and texts back angrily] you're less than 3

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Police jokes
Joko

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further hes stopped by a police officer. Officer: “Good evening sir. Were testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”. Man: “Im sorry, I cant do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air”. Officer: “Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test”. Man: “I cant do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death”. Officer: “Then youll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line”. Man: “Cant do that either”. Officer: “Why not?”. Man: “Because Im dead drunk”.

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