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IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying
WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CHICKENS?!?! One got choked last night thanks to you!
Why do you never play hide &amp
Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth
I like my women like I like my wine 6 years old and stolen from the supermarket
So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It’s safe to say
Stallone took home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Should sit nicely next to his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film
Mohammed Ali &amp
I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist

Mother in law just said global warming with air quotes. It’s going to be a long night.

Lotto jokes
Joko

Mother in law just said global warming with air quotes. It’s going to be a long night.

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Mother in law just said global warming with air quotes. It’s going to be a long night.

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Lotto jokes
Joko

One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. “Where did you get that ring?” her husband asks. “Well, she replies, “my boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings. A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. “Where did you get that coat?” her husband asks. She replies “My boss and played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings. Another week later, his wife comes home, driving in a red Ferrari. “Where did you get that car?” her husband asks. Again she repeats the same story about the lotto and her share of the winnings. That night, his wife asks him to pour her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed. When she enters the bathroom, she find that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the plug at the far end. “And this?” she asks her husband. ” Well,” he replies, “we dont want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we?!”

Lotto jokes
Joko

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His businessstarted going bust and he found himself in serious financialtrouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray forhelp.”Oh Lord, please help me, Ive lost my business and if Idont get some money, Im going to lose my house as well,please let me win the lotto”.Lotto night arrived and somebody else won the prize.Joe again looked up and prayed…”Oh Lord, please let me win the lotto! Ive lost mybusiness, my house and Im going to lose my car as well”.Again, Lotto night came and went and Joe still had no luck.Once again, he prayed… “Oh, Lord, why have you forsaken me? Ive lost my business,my house and my car. My wife and children are starving. Idont often ask you for help and I have always been a goodservant to you. Please just let me win the lotto this onetime so I can get my life back in order … ” Suddenly there was a blinding flash of light as the heavensopened and Joe was confronted by the voice of the Lordhimself: “Joe, Meet Me Half Way On This One. Buy A Ticket!”

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