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IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying
WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CHICKENS?!?! One got choked last night thanks to you!
Why do you never play hide &amp
Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth
I like my women like I like my wine 6 years old and stolen from the supermarket
So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It’s safe to say
Stallone took home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Should sit nicely next to his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film
Mohammed Ali &amp
I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist

I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I’m finally battling my Damons.

Police jokes
Joko

I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I’m finally battling my Damons.

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I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I’m finally battling my Damons.

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Police jokes
Joko

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further hes stopped by a police officer. Officer: “Good evening sir. Were testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please blow into this machine?”. Man: “Im sorry, I cant do that. I have asthma. If I blow on that machine I will get out of air”. Officer: “Please come along to the office and we can give you a blood test”. Man: “I cant do that. I have anemia and if you stick a needle in me I will bleed to death”. Officer: “Then youll have to get out and walk 5 yards along this white line”. Man: “Cant do that either”. Officer: “Why not?”. Man: “Because Im dead drunk”.

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