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IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying
WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CHICKENS?!?! One got choked last night thanks to you!
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Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth
I like my women like I like my wine 6 years old and stolen from the supermarket
So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It’s safe to say
Stallone took home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Should sit nicely next to his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film
Mohammed Ali &amp
I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist

Dear Cracker Jack: The prizes in your bag aren’t prizes anymore. They’re tiny pieces of paper that say, “Go fuck yourself.”

Bicycle jokes
Joko

Dear Cracker Jack: The prizes in your bag aren’t prizes anymore. They’re tiny pieces of paper that say, “Go fuck yourself.”

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Dear Cracker Jack: The prizes in your bag aren’t prizes anymore. They’re tiny pieces of paper that say, “Go fuck yourself.”

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Bicycle jokes
Joko

A math student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle. “Where did you get the bike from?” his friends want to know. “Its a `thank you present”, he explains, “from that freshman girl Ive been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird…” “Tell us!” “Well”, he starts, “yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her math final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can get from me whatever you desire!” One of his friends remarks: “You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle.” “Yeah”, another friend adds, “just imagine how silly you would have looked in a girls clothes – and they wouldnt have fit you anyway!”

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