What does a pirate say when they drop their scissors? Scissor me timbers!
Thank you student loans for helping me get through college and for all that you’ve done for me! I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.
Thank you student loans for helping me get through college and for all that you’ve done for me! I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you.
Which bear can dissolve in water? A polar bear
Which bear can dissolve in water? A polar bear
Kids, you can grow up and be whoever you want …….. it’s called identity theft.
Kids, you can grow up and be whoever you want …….. it’s called identity theft.
I had to throw away a whole carton eggs this morning. They were all starting to grow a little fowl.
I had to throw away a whole carton eggs this morning. They were all starting to grow a little fowl.
Why isn’t NSA mass surveillance a hot topic in the US elections? Because it’s the only part of the govt that listens to the American people.
Why isn’t NSA mass surveillance a hot topic in the US elections? Because it’s the only part of the govt that listens to the American people.
CW: if you repeatedly see a cardinal, it’s the spirit of a loved one. I think that’s my mom Me: that’s nice. Your mom just shit on that guy
CW: if you repeatedly see a cardinal, it’s the spirit of a loved one. I think that’s my mom Me: that’s nice. Your mom just shit on that guy
Did you hear the one about Dorian Gray’s stool sample? That shit NEVER gets old.
Did you hear the one about Dorian Gray’s stool sample? That shit NEVER gets old.
Life is like a box of chocolates… It can be a load of shit.
Life is like a box of chocolates… It can be a load of shit.
Just learned the Finnish have a word “Kalsarikannit” which means getting drunk alone at home in underwear. Signing immigration forms now.
Just learned the Finnish have a word “Kalsarikannit” which means getting drunk alone at home in underwear. Signing immigration forms now.