Having sex with a condom is no fun… I’m going to try having sex with a human being instead.
Sorta miss my kid today. Guess it’s true what they say about not knowing what you’ve got until you’ve sold it to a gypsy.
Sorta miss my kid today. Guess it’s true what they say about not knowing what you’ve got until you’ve sold it to a gypsy.
Five American states that vaguely resemble Indian cuisine when spelled backwards: Aksala, Nogero, Sasnakra, Ohadi, Hatu.
Five American states that vaguely resemble Indian cuisine when spelled backwards: Aksala, Nogero, Sasnakra, Ohadi, Hatu.
The name is Berry Dickenson (shitty oc)… …As in I wish to bury my dick in your son.
The name is Berry Dickenson (shitty oc)… …As in I wish to bury my dick in your son.
I feel a little bad about peeing in the pool my children swim in, but margaritas.
I feel a little bad about peeing in the pool my children swim in, but margaritas.
My iPhone keeps auto-correcting “My iPhone keeps auto-correcting” to ” You don’t have a fucking iPhone, asshole”.
My iPhone keeps auto-correcting “My iPhone keeps auto-correcting” to ” You don’t have a fucking iPhone, asshole”.
Why was Phil Collins… …never a good betting man? Because he always went Against All Odds.
Why was Phil Collins… …never a good betting man? Because he always went Against All Odds.
A guy walks into a bar Ouch.
A guy walks into a bar Ouch.
Remember, if you get dumped, it’s only because they’re looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
Remember, if you get dumped, it’s only because they’re looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you.
Did Jesus pay for our sins with cash or credit card? Neither, he used praypal.
Did Jesus pay for our sins with cash or credit card? Neither, he used praypal.