*Death comes for me but is once again fooled by my false moustache*
When you tell someone that you’re asexual… You then have two people who do not give a fuck.
When you tell someone that you’re asexual… You then have two people who do not give a fuck.
A pretty girl walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “what are you having?”. Girl responds “I’ll take a a Double entendre”. … So he gives it to her.
A pretty girl walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “what are you having?”. Girl responds “I’ll take a a Double entendre”. … So he gives it to her.
How do you make Instagram worthy coffee? #nofilter
How do you make Instagram worthy coffee? #nofilter
What do you call a gay man who just got fired? A canned fruit!
What do you call a gay man who just got fired? A canned fruit!
I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes My parents named me Michael but I totally looked like a Ryan
I was born with blonde hair and blue eyes My parents named me Michael but I totally looked like a Ryan
I’m not a good cook. At Christmas my family got together and bought me a stove that flushes.
I’m not a good cook. At Christmas my family got together and bought me a stove that flushes.
“guns don’t kill people, guns CREATE people!” *fires 10 newborn babies out of a bazooka*
“guns don’t kill people, guns CREATE people!” *fires 10 newborn babies out of a bazooka*
Why does my 2yo insist on looking homeless when we leave the house?
Why does my 2yo insist on looking homeless when we leave the house?
[NSFW] My new girlfriend just introduced me to her fetish…. I didn’t want to tell anyone, but I just had to get this shit off my chest.
[NSFW] My new girlfriend just introduced me to her fetish…. I didn’t want to tell anyone, but I just had to get this shit off my chest.