Did you hear about the castrated hipster? He had a very eunuch style.
What will it take to reunite Nirvana? Two more bullets.
What will it take to reunite Nirvana? Two more bullets.
Why is taking spanish 2 so awesome? You get a lot of puse.
Why is taking spanish 2 so awesome? You get a lot of puse.
I never know the proper handshake to give a black guy wearing a suit.
I never know the proper handshake to give a black guy wearing a suit.
Nothing says “I’ve given up” like a fat person with a stomach tattoo.
Nothing says “I’ve given up” like a fat person with a stomach tattoo.
Do you know how the store Menards got its name? A pirate was kicked in the nuts and he went, “Arr! Me-nards!”
Do you know how the store Menards got its name? A pirate was kicked in the nuts and he went, “Arr! Me-nards!”
[waiting with friend for his test results] “I’m nervous” I’m sure you’re fine *sees 2 doctors playing rock paper scissors outside room*
[waiting with friend for his test results] “I’m nervous” I’m sure you’re fine *sees 2 doctors playing rock paper scissors outside room*
ME: Pet it OPTIMUS PRIME: But I’m afraid of it ME: It’s just a dog OP: Oh..ok [reaches out] DOG: [sneezes] OP: [transforms into large truck]
ME: Pet it OPTIMUS PRIME: But I’m afraid of it ME: It’s just a dog OP: Oh..ok [reaches out] DOG: [sneezes] OP: [transforms into large truck]
The pound is way more fun than the zoo They change out the animals every week!
The pound is way more fun than the zoo They change out the animals every week!
Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal? He wasn’t cut out for this.
Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal? He wasn’t cut out for this.