What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer.
Whenever someone on a plane reclines their seat into you, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, “Keep going.”
Whenever someone on a plane reclines their seat into you, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, “Keep going.”
Walking around naked is a great motivator to get back to the gym
Walking around naked is a great motivator to get back to the gym
What do you call a group of girls all named Paige? A chapter.
What do you call a group of girls all named Paige? A chapter.
There are 1000 shopping carts inside this Walmart, yet I always pick the one with the wheel that makes everyone look like a meth addict.
There are 1000 shopping carts inside this Walmart, yet I always pick the one with the wheel that makes everyone look like a meth addict.
I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit.
I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit.
All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they’re being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.
All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they’re being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.
If your ringtone is my alarm sound, you can go straight to hell
If your ringtone is my alarm sound, you can go straight to hell
I hear Donald Trump wants every welfare recipient to take a drug test… I don’t even what to know what he’s planning to do with all those urine samples.
I hear Donald Trump wants every welfare recipient to take a drug test… I don’t even what to know what he’s planning to do with all those urine samples.
Why was the Scandinavian atheist warm? He had Thor doubt.
Why was the Scandinavian atheist warm? He had Thor doubt.