[Day after Xmas] 7am: I am detoxing today, only fruit and liquids for me 9am: There are worse things than eating 14 cookies for breakfast
The neighbours dogs woke me up last night barking loudly. So I threw my shoes out of the window at them and that shut them up. It was a pair of hush puppies.
The neighbours dogs woke me up last night barking loudly. So I threw my shoes out of the window at them and that shut them up. It was a pair of hush puppies.
are you a broken air freshener Because you aren’t making any scents
are you a broken air freshener Because you aren’t making any scents
Whats the best place to drive to in Iowa? The Middle. That way, you’re always driving out of Iowa.
Whats the best place to drive to in Iowa? The Middle. That way, you’re always driving out of Iowa.
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad’s dick tastes like blood
How do you know your sister’s on her period? Your dad’s dick tastes like blood
Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy? Because he ate five fruits a day!
Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy? Because he ate five fruits a day!
What’s the same about Christmas and work? I do all the work and a fat man in a suit gets all the credit.
What’s the same about Christmas and work? I do all the work and a fat man in a suit gets all the credit.
What do gay cow’s eat? Hayyyyyyy
What do gay cow’s eat? Hayyyyyyy
Women who like facials must be a myth. At least, I’ve never cum across one.
Women who like facials must be a myth. At least, I’ve never cum across one.
My wife is mad at me. Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues.
My wife is mad at me. Get this, her diary says I have boundary issues.