I’m glad they outlawed texting while driving. I can finally get some use out of this calligraphy set.
Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!
Where did the King keep his armies? In his sleevies!
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
A man asked Robin Hood, “would you rob from the rich to give to the poor?” To which he replied, “I Sher-would.”
A man asked Robin Hood, “would you rob from the rich to give to the poor?” To which he replied, “I Sher-would.”
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was in tense.
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… It was in tense.
Organized people are just people who are too lazy to look for things.
Organized people are just people who are too lazy to look for things.
don’t usually brag about helping people, but when I saw an old lady drop her groceries, I yelled: “lift with a straight back!” it felt good
don’t usually brag about helping people, but when I saw an old lady drop her groceries, I yelled: “lift with a straight back!” it felt good
[pet store] Um hi can I have 4 turtles & 1 rat Clerk: hah trying to make ur own ninja turtles dude Me:*hiding miniature sai and katana* n no
[pet store] Um hi can I have 4 turtles & 1 rat Clerk: hah trying to make ur own ninja turtles dude Me:*hiding miniature sai and katana* n no
Reading the Cheesecake Factory menu. Don’t tell me how it ends!
Reading the Cheesecake Factory menu. Don’t tell me how it ends!
Two chemists walk into a bar the first one says “can I have a glass of H2O” and the second chemist says “Can I have a glass of H20 too”. and then he dies.
Two chemists walk into a bar the first one says “can I have a glass of H2O” and the second chemist says “Can I have a glass of H20 too”. and then he dies.