[me and some other dude wearing the same shirt at a party] me: “how did we both fit in this lmao”
I buy all my guns from a bloke called T-Rex.. He’s a small arms dealer.
I buy all my guns from a bloke called T-Rex.. He’s a small arms dealer.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? “Where’s my tractor?” (as told by my Irish granddad)
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? “Where’s my tractor?” (as told by my Irish granddad)
What to do? What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down, and use more lube.
What to do? What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down, and use more lube.
Poor People Matirx *Neo: There is no spoon.* **BUT IS THERE FOOD?**
Poor People Matirx *Neo: There is no spoon.* **BUT IS THERE FOOD?**
What are the strongest days? Saturday and Sundays. The others are weakdays
What are the strongest days? Saturday and Sundays. The others are weakdays
A male prison guard asks a woman on death row what she would like for her last meal. She replies, “I don’t know, what do you want to eat?”
A male prison guard asks a woman on death row what she would like for her last meal. She replies, “I don’t know, what do you want to eat?”
There’s safety in numbers. Unless there’s 6,000,000 of you. And you’re all Jews.
There’s safety in numbers. Unless there’s 6,000,000 of you. And you’re all Jews.
Her: that’s disgusting Me: sorry, I like to poo with the door open sometimes Her: you shouldn’t be pooping in the car at all
Her: that’s disgusting Me: sorry, I like to poo with the door open sometimes Her: you shouldn’t be pooping in the car at all
What is a whales favorite pasttime? Netflix and krill.
What is a whales favorite pasttime? Netflix and krill.