What Is A Mexican’s Favorite Bookstore? Borders.
Eating a meal on an airplane makes me feel like a Tyrannosaurus rex who has to operate on a baby.
Eating a meal on an airplane makes me feel like a Tyrannosaurus rex who has to operate on a baby.
I’m perfectly fine with kissing frogs to find a prince…But I draw the line at kissing snakes.
I’m perfectly fine with kissing frogs to find a prince…But I draw the line at kissing snakes.
I met the woman of my dreams playing Pokemon GO then she got hit by a car.
I met the woman of my dreams playing Pokemon GO then she got hit by a car.
That IS a banana in my pocket AND I’m happy to see you. Why must society make these two things mutually exclusive??
That IS a banana in my pocket AND I’m happy to see you. Why must society make these two things mutually exclusive??
I cried when my dad chopped up onions for his sandwich.. Onions was always my favorite dog…
I cried when my dad chopped up onions for his sandwich.. Onions was always my favorite dog…
Just texted “I still love you” to about 50 random phone numbers.
Just texted “I still love you” to about 50 random phone numbers.
I wanted to take up yoga. I contacted a yoga instructor and told him I wanted to be able to do the splits. He said “what’s your flexibility like?” I said “I can’t do Tuesdays”.
I wanted to take up yoga. I contacted a yoga instructor and told him I wanted to be able to do the splits. He said “what’s your flexibility like?” I said “I can’t do Tuesdays”.
Why is North Korea so cruel? Because it doesn’t have a Seoul!
Why is North Korea so cruel? Because it doesn’t have a Seoul!
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.
What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won’t like it as an adult.