Category: Negócios

Whats long and black? The unemployment line

‘No you can’t have cake! Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Here, eat this fried flour with butter and maple syrup.’ -Moms

I ripped my pants and had to sew them back up. Britches love stitches.

A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office with nothing but saran wrap on. Psychiatrist says, “I can clearly see your nuts”

[3rd grade] bae: come over me: no bae: my parents aren’t home. me: but we’re only 7, that’s awful parenting. bae: but- me: AWFUL. PARENTING.

ISIS is knocking on my door recruiting… Cause I just bombed this physics test.

I was having sex last night and had an epiphany right before I climaxed… I guess you could say that I came to a realisation.

This thorn bush just stabbed my wife in her vagina. What a fucking prick.

Cop: Why didn’t you stop when I shouted at you back there? Motorist: I thought you were saying “Good morning Mr. Mayor.” Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.

How’s it going? “I’m so glad you asked, really need to talk to someone right now” You’re supposed to say ‘fine’ & ask how I am. Bye.