What happens when a midget smokes weed? He gets medium.
Was driving with my dad the other day and he told me to get the map out of the glove box. Easy there Indiana Jones, I will just google it.
Was driving with my dad the other day and he told me to get the map out of the glove box. Easy there Indiana Jones, I will just google it.
Brussel sprouts are like anal sex. If you were forced to have them against your will as a child, chances are you won’t enjoy them as an adult.
Brussel sprouts are like anal sex. If you were forced to have them against your will as a child, chances are you won’t enjoy them as an adult.
I’m not saying four kids is too many, I’m just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that’s all.
I’m not saying four kids is too many, I’m just saying it would be kind of cool if I could melt them all down to form one kid, that’s all.
I’m in a complex relationship My girlfriend is imaginary.
I’m in a complex relationship My girlfriend is imaginary.
The only thing I want to “portion control” is my time spent at work.
The only thing I want to “portion control” is my time spent at work.
My co-worker was accused of flipping off the boss. I told HR that it couldn’t have been him because he never lifts a finger to do anything.
My co-worker was accused of flipping off the boss. I told HR that it couldn’t have been him because he never lifts a finger to do anything.
I’m not lazy I’m just energy efficient
I’m not lazy I’m just energy efficient
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino _()_/
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino _()_/
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, “boners.”
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, “boners.”