Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
I went to my highschool football coach’s funeral…. When I got to the casket, I whispered, “You walk it off asshole!”
I went to my highschool football coach’s funeral…. When I got to the casket, I whispered, “You walk it off asshole!”
If I were British I would carry around a monicle and drop it whenever I was horrified
If I were British I would carry around a monicle and drop it whenever I was horrified
What is Chris Brown’s new girlfriends’ name? Beats Me
What is Chris Brown’s new girlfriends’ name? Beats Me
How many times did people question the honesty of Shakira’s hips before she finally decided to defend them in a song?
How many times did people question the honesty of Shakira’s hips before she finally decided to defend them in a song?
I like to take my girlfriend to restaurants so she can complain I call it “whining and dining”
I like to take my girlfriend to restaurants so she can complain I call it “whining and dining”
Did you hear about the Woodstock Killer? He was charged for murder within tents.
Did you hear about the Woodstock Killer? He was charged for murder within tents.
The phrase “Getting nickeled and dimed” hasn’t kept up with inflation… We’re definitely getting dollared now.
The phrase “Getting nickeled and dimed” hasn’t kept up with inflation… We’re definitely getting dollared now.
“Do these horizontal stripes make my country look fat?” ~ American Flag
“Do these horizontal stripes make my country look fat?” ~ American Flag
If you have a horse and you didn’t name it Edgar Allan Pony, we can’t be friends.
If you have a horse and you didn’t name it Edgar Allan Pony, we can’t be friends.