My coworker loses her keycard so much she just legally changed her name to Guest Badge.
Pessimist: This can’t get any worse. Optimist: Yes it can!
Pessimist: This can’t get any worse. Optimist: Yes it can!
After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves.
After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves.
Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician? … he worked it out with a pencil.
Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician? … he worked it out with a pencil.
I was touched when my slutty ex-girlfriend said she got a tattoo for me, but it turned out to be a heart with the name “Occupant.”
I was touched when my slutty ex-girlfriend said she got a tattoo for me, but it turned out to be a heart with the name “Occupant.”
As our exhausted bodies lay down on the bed… She turned to me and said, “What do you think of post-sex?” “I can’t say I’ve ever fucked a letter box.” I replied.
As our exhausted bodies lay down on the bed… She turned to me and said, “What do you think of post-sex?” “I can’t say I’ve ever fucked a letter box.” I replied.
St. Patricks Day Whenever people pinch me on Saint Patricks Day, I punch them. Because whatever you do with “I” I do with “U”
St. Patricks Day Whenever people pinch me on Saint Patricks Day, I punch them. Because whatever you do with “I” I do with “U”
Call out to CAN_ZIGZAG: what do they call it when a mechanic frees up a stuck gearshift? Manumission
Call out to CAN_ZIGZAG: what do they call it when a mechanic frees up a stuck gearshift? Manumission
When you really think about it… 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
When you really think about it… 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.
Here in Britain, we’ve got May & Hammond in the Government now – All we need is Clarkson and we’ve got Top Gear back again.
Here in Britain, we’ve got May & Hammond in the Government now – All we need is Clarkson and we’ve got Top Gear back again.