Breaking up on Twitter: It’s not @you it’s @me.
I asked an Australian to greet me… He kept beating around the bush saying “I might”.
I asked an Australian to greet me… He kept beating around the bush saying “I might”.
What’s the difference between iron-man and iron woman? one is a superhero and the other is a command.
What’s the difference between iron-man and iron woman? one is a superhero and the other is a command.
What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer accepts a 3.5 in. floppy.
What’s the difference between a woman and a computer? A computer accepts a 3.5 in. floppy.
What did Santa Claus say to his wife after he watched the weather report? It’s going to rain dear. ^Yeah ^I’m ^sorry ^its ^late ^guys.
What did Santa Claus say to his wife after he watched the weather report? It’s going to rain dear. ^Yeah ^I’m ^sorry ^its ^late ^guys.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back 4 seconds.
What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back 4 seconds.
What’s 10 inches long, Hard as a rock and filled with semen? The sock under my bed
What’s 10 inches long, Hard as a rock and filled with semen? The sock under my bed
The future The world in 10 years… MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100… Band leader: I’m sorry did you just assume our genre?
The future The world in 10 years… MTV announcer: a new punk rock band making its way to the top 100… Band leader: I’m sorry did you just assume our genre?
This poster that says “Green Day: Sold Out” is right in two ways
This poster that says “Green Day: Sold Out” is right in two ways
“It’s always Russia somewhere” I whisper to my 4th shot of morning vodka.
“It’s always Russia somewhere” I whisper to my 4th shot of morning vodka.