How many teens does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but you need a really big lightbulb.
Hillary Clinton’s biography is a fable… … because the main character is a bitch.
Hillary Clinton’s biography is a fable… … because the main character is a bitch.
You guys! I just realized I’ve been holding my moral compass upside down this whole time.
You guys! I just realized I’ve been holding my moral compass upside down this whole time.
I was bitten by a mosquito today. It sucked.
I was bitten by a mosquito today. It sucked.
Islam is a religion of piece. A piece of you here, there, everywhere.
Islam is a religion of piece. A piece of you here, there, everywhere.
Mind: Be careful to protect yourself and don’t jump right in. Heart: CANNONBALL!!!
Mind: Be careful to protect yourself and don’t jump right in. Heart: CANNONBALL!!!
I needed the loo, and only a wishing well was in sight. Well. Shit.
I needed the loo, and only a wishing well was in sight. Well. Shit.
What do you do to a chemist after they’re dead? you barium
What do you do to a chemist after they’re dead? you barium
I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad.
I introduced my girlfriend to my family today. My kids really liked her but my wife seemed mad.
What do you get when you scare a tree? Petrified wood.
What do you get when you scare a tree? Petrified wood.