Category: Gorilla jokes

There are few things more awkward on a blind date than looking up from your phone to realise she’s left. She obviously wasn’t blind at all.

Sometimes I drink to cure my malaise. If I get drunk this Friday because I am bummed about the end of the world, am I getting sauced because of Mayan-aise?

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town? They wished it was Anubis.

*Takes ex girlfriend’s poem on Antiques Road Show* Sir these are worthless *Winks at camera* Told you Karen!

“There’s a guy that jumped off the Pont Neuf!” He must be in Seine.

What do you call a female police officer with short pubes? CuntStubble

“Welcome to 9-1-1, Florida. If you’re calling about a matter related to George Zimmerman, please press 2. Otherwise, stay on the line…”

I saw your link on Facebook. What happened next will blow your mind…….I didn’t open it.

An electrical engineer is talking to a blonde the blonde asks: “What do you do for a living?” The engineer replies ” I make chips” “Oh yummy!”

If you ever fart in public, just yell, “Turbo power!” and walk faster