When I go see my drug dealer, she makes me lay on a couch and talk to her for an hour first.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in an accident? He’ll be all right.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side in an accident? He’ll be all right.
My stalker sucks. She needs to try harder. I always have to keep going & finding her. It’s like I’m following HER around. It’s ridiculous.
My stalker sucks. She needs to try harder. I always have to keep going & finding her. It’s like I’m following HER around. It’s ridiculous.
Pro Tip: Use candles to set a romantic mood. Pro Tip Addendum: don’t set the romantic mood right by curtains.
Pro Tip: Use candles to set a romantic mood. Pro Tip Addendum: don’t set the romantic mood right by curtains.
What do you call a Chinese cameraman? Phil Ming
What do you call a Chinese cameraman? Phil Ming
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
What do you call a belt made out of watches? A waist of time.
How did I sleep in college? I slept like a baby… I woke up every two hours to vomit, shit myself and cry myself back to sleep.
How did I sleep in college? I slept like a baby… I woke up every two hours to vomit, shit myself and cry myself back to sleep.
A nihilist was robbed at gunpoint. Nothing of value was stolen.
A nihilist was robbed at gunpoint. Nothing of value was stolen.
Why did TEN die because he was in the middle of 9/11
Why did TEN die because he was in the middle of 9/11
There was an explosion at the world’s largest sprinkles factory earlier today. Fortunately there have been no fatalities, but the number of injured are reported to be in the hundreds and thousands.
There was an explosion at the world’s largest sprinkles factory earlier today. Fortunately there have been no fatalities, but the number of injured are reported to be in the hundreds and thousands.