Category: Gorilla jokes

Had to put my dog down today… I just didn’t expect him to be so heavy!

In a primary school… The teacher asks students to draw female reproductive system. A girl in the class puts her head down out of shyness. A boy looks at her and exclaims “Ma’am she’s copying!”.

An app that scans phone lines for fax machines and sends the word “why”.

What did the fish say when he hit the wall? damn.

I just bought something with money at a store. Now I’m taking it home. I guess it’s true: you get what you pay for.

Magician: “Think of a card.” Me: “Okay.” Magician: “You are thinking of the.. 3 OF SPADES!” Me: “I was thinking about a get well soon card.”

Unshakable Fact # 5 Arguing over a girl’s breast size is like choosing between Molson, Heineken, Carlsberg & Budweiser. Men may state their preferences, but will grab whatever is available.

Woke up in a graveyard. Never felt more alive.

I heard you like bad boys she replied: Yeah Well, i’m not trying to impress you or anything But When Disney channel asked me to go their website with parents permission, I didn’t ask my parents.

Idea: Always carry around a chicken, so if you’re murdered your chalk outline won’t just be the same old boring shit.