What do Muslim men do during foreplay? They tickle the goat under the chin.
I don’t see why people are outraged when Donald Trump says if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d be dating her. After all, if Ivanka wasn’t Trump’s daughter, I’d date her too.
I don’t see why people are outraged when Donald Trump says if Ivanka wasn’t his daughter, he’d be dating her. After all, if Ivanka wasn’t Trump’s daughter, I’d date her too.
5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true.
5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true.
Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery? 3 dollars a year for a million years.
Did you hear about the New 3 Million Dollar Alabama State Lottery? 3 dollars a year for a million years.
Our youngest has finally graduated from baby bottles to 2-liters of soda.
Our youngest has finally graduated from baby bottles to 2-liters of soda.
I’ve always been really bad at telling jokes. I always manage to fuck up the punchline.
I’ve always been really bad at telling jokes. I always manage to fuck up the punchline.
My healthcare policy basically only covers taking off my shoe to twist my sock around a little bit so the seam isn’t right under my toe
My healthcare policy basically only covers taking off my shoe to twist my sock around a little bit so the seam isn’t right under my toe
How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her not to make you a sandwich.
How do you confuse a feminist? Tell her not to make you a sandwich.
Chefs who can’t admit failure present: Soft-boiled eggs Steak tartare Twice-baked potatoes Sour cream Calzones Pineapple upside down cake
Chefs who can’t admit failure present: Soft-boiled eggs Steak tartare Twice-baked potatoes Sour cream Calzones Pineapple upside down cake
What is stronger than Ronda Rousey? Her anti-depressants.
What is stronger than Ronda Rousey? Her anti-depressants.