My girlfriend spends every night in town, going from bar to bar. And she always f*cking finds me.
Today there was an explosion in my kitchen… I combined pasta with antipasta.
Today there was an explosion in my kitchen… I combined pasta with antipasta.
Hey I’m in jail on the police station for having an ugly face….. Can you please come over and show them they got the wrong person?
Hey I’m in jail on the police station for having an ugly face….. Can you please come over and show them they got the wrong person?
When you get 3 out of 4, its… not half bad!
When you get 3 out of 4, its… not half bad!
Heisenberg’s wife was unhappy… because when he had the time, he didn’t have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn’t have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad.
Heisenberg’s wife was unhappy… because when he had the time, he didn’t have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn’t have the momentum. Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad.
Old But Gold Two dyslexic men walk into a bra…
Old But Gold Two dyslexic men walk into a bra…
I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek…
I went to bed last night and my brother came out of the closet and scared the shit out of me, I forgot we were playing hide and seek…
I started taking Viagra for my sunburn It doesn’t cure it but it sure keeps the sheet off my legs.
I started taking Viagra for my sunburn It doesn’t cure it but it sure keeps the sheet off my legs.
Why are americans bad at DotA ? Because they cant defend their towers.
Why are americans bad at DotA ? Because they cant defend their towers.
“Please don’t do this,” I beg, as the hairdresser tries to start up another conversation.
“Please don’t do this,” I beg, as the hairdresser tries to start up another conversation.