Category: Elephant jokes

Two cannibals are eating a dead clown one cannibal turns to the other and says “does this taste funny to you?”

My uncle is an idiot. He saw a commercial that said, “9 out of 10 accidents happen within a mile of your home.” So he up and moved

Starting to carry a clipboard at work just to let folks know I’m not fucking around about shit anymore.

I just got a Sleep Number mattress, and it turns out my sleep number is 911. Because a night in my bed, you’ll never forget.

Think having your kid hear you having sex is the worst? NOPE! Having your kid run into the room with a light saber to save you…MUCH WORSE!

I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com It was a site for sore eyes

My twittercide will be like the final scene in BraveHeart but a doughnut will fall from my hand in slowmo instead of an embroidered hanky.

Why do Norwegians drive Chevys? They’re afraid of drowning in a Fjord.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

An app that detects itself running on other people’s phones, then both devices play Random Encounter music. What happens next is up to you.