Me: Jimi Hendrix? Daughter: Who? Me: Beatles? Daughter: Who? Me: Doors? Daughter: Who? Me: Justin Bieber? Daughter: Hate him. Me: Thank God.
What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear!
What do you do with 365 used condoms? Roll them up into a tire and call it a Goodyear!
My friend said to me, “I’m going to dress up as an island near the bottom of Italy” I said “Don’t be so silly.”
My friend said to me, “I’m going to dress up as an island near the bottom of Italy” I said “Don’t be so silly.”
The worst thing about babies is how little they appreciate all the sleep they get.
The worst thing about babies is how little they appreciate all the sleep they get.
Careful, the circular motion you make with your hand to tell someone to roll down their car window is giving away your age.
Careful, the circular motion you make with your hand to tell someone to roll down their car window is giving away your age.
What do you call a college scholarship for a black guy? all of them.
What do you call a college scholarship for a black guy? all of them.
What do you call an angry reticle? A cross-hair
What do you call an angry reticle? A cross-hair
Two Communists are hanging out at a nudist park… One says, “So, have you read Marx?” “Yeah, it’s these damn wicker chairs.”
Two Communists are hanging out at a nudist park… One says, “So, have you read Marx?” “Yeah, it’s these damn wicker chairs.”
My IQ score says I’m intelligent. My dating history disagrees.
My IQ score says I’m intelligent. My dating history disagrees.
How does Super Mario contact the dead? He uses a Luigi board.
How does Super Mario contact the dead? He uses a Luigi board.