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IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying

WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CHICKENS?!?! One got choked last night thanks to you!

Why do you never play hide &amp

Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth

I like my women like I like my wine 6 years old and stolen from the supermarket

So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It’s safe to say

Stallone took home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Should sit nicely next to his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film

Mohammed Ali &amp

I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist

Accountant jokes

October 19, 2026Joko

All microwaveable popcorn packages should be accompanied by dental floss

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All microwaveable popcorn packages should be accompanied by dental floss

Accountant jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says, “The parrot on the left costs $500.””Why does that parrot cost so much?” asks the accountant.”Well,” replies the owner, “it knows how to do complex audits.””How much does the middle parrot cost?” asks the accountant.”That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts”.The startled accountant asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, “What can it do?”To which the owner replies “To be honest, Ive never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner.”

Accountant jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

Three partners in an accounting firm go out to lunch. They are the audit partner, the tax partner and the senior partner. One of them sees a brass lamp lying in the gutter. Curious, they pick it up and give it a rub. Instantly, a genie appears.”You know the deal,” says the genie. “Three wishes. But seeing there are three of you, you can have one wish each.””Great,” says the audit partner. “Take me to the Whitsunday Islands, give me a blonde and an endless supply of XXXX and leave me there for ever.”Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone.”Now me,” says the tax partner. “Take me to the Cook Islands, give me two blondes and an endless supply of offshore tax schemes and leave me there for ever.”Pouf! There is a flash of light, a puff of smoke and he is gone.The genie turns to the senior partner. “And what do you want?””I want those two ba ck in the office straight after lunch.”

Accountant jokes

October 21, 2026Joko

An internal auditor for a manufacturing group was concerned about anomalies in stock levels. He thought someone might be pinching stock but he couldnt prove it. He had his eye on one shifty-looking individual who every day drove his old truck out of the factory with the load covered by a tarpaulin. Time after time the auditor stopped the bloke, made him remove the tarpaulin and then inspected the load. On every occasion there was only scrap metal in the truck which the driver said he was taking to the tip. On three occasions the auditor made the bloke remove the tarpaulin and then unload the scrap in front of him, suspecting that there might be stolen stock hidden underneath. Nothing. He could never find anything amiss.After a few months of this the auditor was offered a better job elsewhere and resigned. A few weeks later he was drinking in a pub when the shifty character walked in. On a n impulse the auditor went up to him and said, “Look, Ive left the company, Im not interested in taking it any further and I wont shop you, but I just have to know. What were you taking?”And the bloke said “Tarpaulins.”

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