My wife has packed her things and left me… My wife has packed her things and left me due to my obsession with glass objects. Frankly, I’m shattered.
(reads smudged writing on hand during date) i just want to say that u look really preffy tonight
(reads smudged writing on hand during date) i just want to say that u look really preffy tonight
Africa and Asia are playing baseball Asia strikes out Africa, Europe
Africa and Asia are playing baseball Asia strikes out Africa, Europe
How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight? because he chose from the kids menu
How did Jared Fogle lose so much weight? because he chose from the kids menu
What do you call it when Batman leaves church early? Christian Bale
What do you call it when Batman leaves church early? Christian Bale
Christmas cards are how old people say, “Hey, you thought I was dead, but I’m not!”
Christmas cards are how old people say, “Hey, you thought I was dead, but I’m not!”
“…you can also say ‘representative’ at any ti–” “REPRESENTATIVE!!”
“…you can also say ‘representative’ at any ti–” “REPRESENTATIVE!!”
So they say rubbing the Buddha statue’s belly gives you good luck… …imagine if you sucked his dick.
So they say rubbing the Buddha statue’s belly gives you good luck… …imagine if you sucked his dick.
A black guy walks into a bar. And he found himself with a headache as he couldn’t read the CONSTRUCTION sign
A black guy walks into a bar. And he found himself with a headache as he couldn’t read the CONSTRUCTION sign
What US city has the dirtiest frozen waffles? San Diego
What US city has the dirtiest frozen waffles? San Diego