How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face…
How do Dolphins live their lives? With a porpoise.
How do Dolphins live their lives? With a porpoise.
Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip
Cop: Are you drunk? Me: Could a drunk person do this? *I just piss my pants* Cop: WOW. Yes actually. Me: That was supposed to be a backflip
Jesus take the wheel Carlos take the stereo, Manuel be on the lookout…
Jesus take the wheel Carlos take the stereo, Manuel be on the lookout…
What do you call phrases that Jews often say? Judaisms.
What do you call phrases that Jews often say? Judaisms.
Women freeze their eggs until they are ready to be a mom? Can I freeze my two year old until I’m ready?
Women freeze their eggs until they are ready to be a mom? Can I freeze my two year old until I’m ready?
I’m in favor of spanking children. Their parents are not.
I’m in favor of spanking children. Their parents are not.
One I heard at a restaurant “Am I the first girl you ever kissed?” She whispered softly to her date. “It’s possible” he admitted, “Were you at Lake Geneva in 2004?”
One I heard at a restaurant “Am I the first girl you ever kissed?” She whispered softly to her date. “It’s possible” he admitted, “Were you at Lake Geneva in 2004?”
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
A paraplegic went down a runway… She made for a great roll-model.
A paraplegic went down a runway… She made for a great roll-model.