A farmer walks past a tombstone that says: Here lies a lawyer, an honest man, a man of integrity. The peasant crosses himself and says scared: “Blessed Virgin, three men buried in the same grave!”
I wanted to stop for McDonald’s this morning but the line was too wide.
I wanted to stop for McDonald’s this morning but the line was too wide.
The FedEx guy said I look like a sexy pirate. I’m not sure if that’s considered sexual harassment or flirting.
The FedEx guy said I look like a sexy pirate. I’m not sure if that’s considered sexual harassment or flirting.
I put a Justin Bieber’s song as my alarm tone and it works wonders cuz I wake up before it goes off so I don’t have to listen to that sh1t
I put a Justin Bieber’s song as my alarm tone and it works wonders cuz I wake up before it goes off so I don’t have to listen to that sh1t
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh? Tentickles.
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh? Tentickles.
if you’re havin girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems and they’re all bottles of beer on the wall
if you’re havin girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems and they’re all bottles of beer on the wall
When would a discount be a bad thing? Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free.
When would a discount be a bad thing? Have 3 abortions and get the fourth free.
Sorry I took the little stringy things off my banana and put them on your baby’s head to make it look like he had hair.
Sorry I took the little stringy things off my banana and put them on your baby’s head to make it look like he had hair.
What do The Walking Dead and the state of Wisconsin have in common? They both have a hated governor.
What do The Walking Dead and the state of Wisconsin have in common? They both have a hated governor.
I was gonna tell a pizza joke, but it’s too cheesy.
I was gonna tell a pizza joke, but it’s too cheesy.