Men are like coffee. The best ones are rich hot and can keep you up all night.
The corner store started carrying Ben & Jerry’s Creme Brulee ice cream so if anybody needs me I’ll be fat
The corner store started carrying Ben & Jerry’s Creme Brulee ice cream so if anybody needs me I’ll be fat
I took a laxative and smoked some weed. You know just for shits and giggles.
I took a laxative and smoked some weed. You know just for shits and giggles.
Do you know how they came up with the name for a shark? It’s a mix of two swear words; “SHIIIT” and “FAAARK”
Do you know how they came up with the name for a shark? It’s a mix of two swear words; “SHIIIT” and “FAAARK”
What do they call the Hunger Games in Africa? Tuesday.
What do they call the Hunger Games in Africa? Tuesday.
“We will, we will paper you!” – Band that’s more awesome than Queen
“We will, we will paper you!” – Band that’s more awesome than Queen
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
This status is dedicated to whatever you’re ignoring in real life to read it.
I know you’ve been looking at porn if you’re staring at the Google homepage when I walk in.
I know you’ve been looking at porn if you’re staring at the Google homepage when I walk in.
HOW DO I CONVINCE EVERYONE THAT I’M NOT UPSET SOMEONE STOLE MY CAPS LOCK KEY?
HOW DO I CONVINCE EVERYONE THAT I’M NOT UPSET SOMEONE STOLE MY CAPS LOCK KEY?
What did the doctors office say to the hurricane? Sorry, we don’t take any Joaquins
What did the doctors office say to the hurricane? Sorry, we don’t take any Joaquins