Dermatologists hate him! It’s not because he has a great skin or anything. He’s just an asshole
I’ve removed swim with dolphins from my bucket list. Mainly cos I can’t swim and drowning with dolphins doesn’t have quite the same appeal.
I’ve removed swim with dolphins from my bucket list. Mainly cos I can’t swim and drowning with dolphins doesn’t have quite the same appeal.
According to my mom, Michael Jackson died again. #RIPPrince
According to my mom, Michael Jackson died again. #RIPPrince
You’re legally allowed to stab anyone whose favorite album is a band’s Greatest Hits.
You’re legally allowed to stab anyone whose favorite album is a band’s Greatest Hits.
I’ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
I’ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
What travels down an alley and is full of holes? Batman’s Parents.
What travels down an alley and is full of holes? Batman’s Parents.
What happens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner?? He breaks his nose.
What happens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner?? He breaks his nose.
Three tampons are walking down the street.. A light, a regular, and a super tampon are all walking down the street. Which one talks to you first? None. They are all stuck up bitches.
Three tampons are walking down the street.. A light, a regular, and a super tampon are all walking down the street. Which one talks to you first? None. They are all stuck up bitches.
How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb? We’re on our sixth.
How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb? We’re on our sixth.
This national park is nice but the cell service sucks. I can only enjoy natural beauty if I can tweet ironically about it.
This national park is nice but the cell service sucks. I can only enjoy natural beauty if I can tweet ironically about it.