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IDK why everyone is sad about Whitney Houston dying
WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST CHICKENS?!?! One got choked last night thanks to you!
Why do you never play hide &amp
Just downloaded the Lana Del Rey emoticon pack: Sad :| Happy :| Scared :| Excited :| Surprised :| Giving birth
I like my women like I like my wine 6 years old and stolen from the supermarket
So I just had a very awkward conversation with a bulimic over lunch. It’s safe to say
Stallone took home the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor. Should sit nicely next to his Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film
Mohammed Ali &amp
I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist

What do you call an octopus that’s missing one tentacle? Octopus Prime.

Aviation jokes
Joko

What do you call an octopus that’s missing one tentacle? Octopus Prime.

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What do you call an octopus that’s missing one tentacle? Octopus Prime.

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Aviation jokes
Joko

A small twin-prop commuter plane was hijacked by a desperate animal rights extremist who vowed to kill one of the passengers to demonstrate his serious intentions. There were two passengers present, a microbiologist and a yeast geneticist. The hijacker gave each one two minutes to explain why they shouldnt be killed. The microbiologist (who studied bacteria) talked for 1 minute 59 seconds explaining that he studies bacteria, bacteria are model organisms for the study of genetics and physiology etc. etc. and finished with an emotional, bacteria-laden plea which had the hijacker in tears. When he was done, they turned to the yeast geneticist who said, “let me explain to you why yeast genetics is an important discipline…” but he was interrupted by the microbiologist who exclaimed “Shoot me! Shoot me!”

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